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On Steve McNair: Is it possible to be charitable and a cheat?

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5ksandcabernets: On Steve McNair: Is it possible to be charitable and a cheat?


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

On Steve McNair: Is it possible to be charitable and a cheat?

So the medical examiners in Nashville have concluded that former Titans quarterback Steve McNair was killed by his 20-year-old mistress who then turned the gun on herself. Tragic.

And now more stories are emerging about the, "dark side of McNair," as if all the charity work he did in Tennessee should be wiped out by his extramarital affair(s?)

My two points on this tragedy are these: Why are the media (a business I used to be apart of) acting so surprised about a man, a relatively famous and rich man, who cheats on his wife? And... isn't it possible to be charitable and a cheat?

I get the fact that the circumstances surrounding McNair's death have given his infidelity relevancy. Had he died in a plane crash, most of us would have never known about his mistress. Alas the fact that it was his mistress that, apparently, shot him, is the reason his "prowess" off the field has trumped his prowess on the field.

I'm not excusing McNair for cheating on his wife. If he wasn't ready to be a one-woman-man, he shouldn't have been married in the first place. But let me paint this picture for people who seem so surprised that such a nice guy could cheat on his spouse: You are a man. You are a man in your 20s or 30s. Your hormones are raging. Just raging. You have millions of dollars in your bank account. You are famous. Women are throwing themselves at you. Beautiful women. Beautiful women who, but for your fame, wouldn't give you a second look even if you were running naked down their street. On fire.

And you tell me. You tell me how many men, how many men in their 20s and 30s, whose moral compasses are still a bit off, wouldn't give in to that temptation, wouldn't succumb to the perfumed bosom or revealing hemline of a stranger in a hotel bar? (Let me say, had I been a millionaire in my 20s or 30s with women throwing themselves at me, I'm not so sure I would have been a great spouse.)

This isn't a new story, of course. And the adulterers aren't just limited to younger men. We've had cheating presidents (Kennedy, Clinton), presidential candidates (Edwards), and governors (Sanford, Spitzer), and you can say what they did was despicable, absolutely despicable.

But did that make them bad men? You telling me that getting some extra nookey on the side wipes out important legislation they may have signed, or charity work they may have done? Of course it didn't. It meant they were terrible husbands, that's all.

McNair was just a football player. A man with flaws, one of which got him killed. He leaves behind a devastated wife, and family members of his lover who probably felt he took advantage of a situation. And folks, I think infidelity is the worst thing you can do to your spouse (outside of violence). But cheating shouldn't wipe out all the good things you've done for your community/city.


Blogger Kathleen said...

I agree with you. I've covered sports myself and my dad was in the baseball business. I've been around a lot of pro athletes. I'm surprised when an athlete isn't cheating on his wife. The level of temptation they face isn't something the average man has to deal with.

July 8, 2009 at 11:35 PM  
Blogger Just_because_today said...

what amazes me is not that he cheated but that death as viewed by the media makes a saint out of people, remembers all the good that wasn't remembered before. We just saw it with MJ or like in the case of McNair forgets all the good.

July 9, 2009 at 9:37 AM  
Blogger Billy Burger said...

I blame Brian Billick. No rational reason other than he was an a-hole and an AFC North coach.

Seriously, McNair was a good guy. He had a flaw, yes (a glaring one at that and one that would ultimately end his life far too soon) but who doesn't? Besides, your personal life should have nothing to do with your work as a philanthropist.

July 9, 2009 at 10:45 AM  
Blogger butcept said...

I totally agree. I think it's naive for anyone to think that someone in that position WOULDN'T (when it happens so often to the regular folk)...and you worded it nicely in the fact that we know it due to the circumstances of his death.

July 16, 2009 at 9:39 AM  

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