Big decision I'm making

Usually when I visit Noah, I stay at the Austin townhouse of his mother, who lives with her mother. I sleep in my own room and I get up when Noah awakes and I get to see him before he goes to sleep. I get there on Saturdays after my long run (Yeah, you try driving 3 hours after running 20 miles and tell me how much your knees like it) and leave Monday mornings.

But I don't get along with Noah's mother. And it makes the weekend stressful. And things are getting worse.

So, I think I'm going to have to make a change. I think I'm going to get a hotel when I go see Noah. It'll mean I have to find an extra $75 to $100 every two weeks in my budget, and it also means I get there Saturday and leave Sunday, but I just don't think I can take the stress anymore. I wont get into why Nancy and I don't get along. We can't stand each other. She thinks she is right and I think I am right, but whats important is that she is a very good mother and I'm lucky and Noah is lucky that she is mom. But staying there is too stressful. Even if its only 48 hours.

I shouldn't have to go through what I have to go through to see my son. There is no law that says so. I give her 20 percent of my paycheck every two weeks, and sometimes I give her extra when Noah needs it. But now, now, if I keep staying there, I'm going to lose my mind. I just am.

And now, I've decided I won't. Nancy and I haven't been in a relationship since she left _ that's right _ she left in Oct. 2007. So, its not like we got something special going. I cant afford two nights of hotel costs every two weeks, but maybe I go to Austin every three weeks. Get there Saturday and maybe leave sometime Monday.

I think its what I have to do to keep my sanity.